My Why...



*Warning: I swear. 

Ok no more fucking around. Time to get serious about this. I really want this so it's time to go full-ass and not half ass*. My WW leader always tells us to remember our "Why" and I have a a lot reasons why I want and need to lose weight, but I don't think I do a good enough job of being as focused as I should and that easily derails me. 

When I sign up for a race, I stick to my training schedule because I do keep my "Why" close by. Why do I stick to my training schedule? Because if I don't I'll have a shitty run on race day, hate every minute and barf at the finish line. And I train to have a great race day, have fun and for that medal. 

So time to really think about "Why" I want to lose weight. "Why" am I doing Weight Watchers? "Why" it is important to me? "Why" I have to think of this goal first and foremost, for myself? I'm a list maker. So here it is:

Why I want to lose weight:

1. For my health. Diabetes runs in my family so it is of the utmost importance that I keep my weight in check. I'm not a kid anymore, if I lose weight it will give me a much better quality of life and I'll have a longer life.

2. I want to be a good role model for my son. 

3. I'm 40 now, no one believes my age, I'd like to milk that shit for as long as possible.

4. I want to finally get my mom off my back. My whole life she's projected her weight issues on to me. I love her tremendously, I know she's trying to look out of me, but I've been hearing from her since I was a kid about being a fat....even when I wasn't a fat kid. Latinos call their little chubby girls "gordita" and that has been part of my identity forever. I always thought of myself as fat/gordita because that's what they labeled me. I recently found a picture of me as a child and I thought, what the fuck?! I'm not fat! I let my family project this image and it really affected my self-esteem. That's done. I control me. I'm ready to shut that little voice off in my head that still feels like the embarrassed little "gordita". No matter what it's about being my best healthy self. Not other people's bullshit.

5. I'd like to wear a two piece bathing suit. Never wore one in my life. 

6. I'd like to go into a store and pull shit off a rack and have it fit me. 

7. I'd like to run faster. Lots of weight on your body weighs you down and hurts your knees. Lighten the load and I'll finally run a half at 2:30.

8. I'd like to feel healthy and strong.

9. I want to be able to keep up with my son :)

10. I'd like to reach my WW goal so I can have a free membership! Hit your weight goal and you don't have to pay for your WW membership if you stay within your range. HELLZ YEAH!


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