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Eating the Feels

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I'm an emotional eater. For fucking sure. At my happiest I love to celebrate with food. When I have a huge victory I want to celebrate with a great meal. When I'm pissed the fuck off I feel I deserve a good meal to make it all better. When I'm stressed nothing is more relaxing than a  delicious dinner. I feel I owe it to myself and it literally, in my brain feels like soothing comfort.

Then the next day, regret, anger, guilt and negative self-talk. This has been my cycle. It's hard to undo a lifetime of this behavior. My saving grace is that I work out a lot, but I think if you ever sat in a WW meeting, members will tell you that weight loss is achieved in the kitchen not the gym. You have to pay attention to what you put in your pie hole.

This week was a turning point for me. I had a really stressful week and I had my son's IEP which usually ends with me and a big dinner and pie because pie AND WINE make it all better. This time I only had ONE glass of wine. That…

My Why...

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*Warning: I swear. 
Ok no more fucking around. Time to get serious about this. I really want this so it's time to go full-ass and not half ass*. My WW leader always tells us to remember our "Why" and I have a a lot reasons why I want and need to lose weight, but I don't think I do a good enough job of being as focused as I should and that easily derails me. 
When I sign up for a race, I stick to my training schedule because I do keep my "Why" close by. Why do I stick to my training schedule? Because if I don't I'll have a shitty run on race day, hate every minute and barf at the finish line. And I train to have a great race day, have fun and for that medal. 
So time to really think about "Why" I want to lose weight. "Why" am I doing Weight Watchers? "Why" it is important to me? "Why" I have to think of this goal first and foremost, for myself? I'm a list maker. So here it is:
Why I want to lose weight:
1.…

I wish they all could be California

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40 Things about me (in no particular order of importance).

1. I'm a first born.
2. I have a son, E.
3. I am married to a wonderful man, a fellow pisces.
4. I live in Southern California.
5. I love reading.
6. I am powered by coffee and would evaporate into dust if I didn't have it every day.
7. I love movies and worked in the film industry.
8. I love to write.
9. I've been journaling since I was 11 years old.
10. In 2011 I fell in love with running and it's become my therapy.
11. Since having a son I am no longer afraid of spiders, roaches and I can wrangle farm animals without hesitation. But I still hate lizards, please don't tell my son.
12. Chocolate is very important to me.
13. I hate salmon.
14. I wish I had an extra T.V so I could have MSNBC or CSPAN running all day long.
15. I wish I didn't have a Real Housewives addiction, but I do.


16. I ran my first full marathon (26.2 miles) last year and ran my second this year and it was awesome! I've done si…