Eating the Feels

I'm an emotional eater. For fucking sure. At my happiest I love to celebrate with food. When I have a huge victory I want to celebrate with a great meal. When I'm pissed the fuck off I feel I deserve a good meal to make it all better. When I'm stressed nothing is more relaxing than a  delicious dinner. I feel I owe it to myself and it literally, in my brain feels like soothing comfort.

Then the next day, regret, anger, guilt and negative self-talk. This has been my cycle. It's hard to undo a lifetime of this behavior. My saving grace is that I work out a lot, but I think if you ever sat in a WW meeting, members will tell you that weight loss is achieved in the kitchen not the gym. You have to pay attention to what you put in your pie hole.

This week was a turning point for me. I had a really stressful week and I had my son's IEP which usually ends with me and a big dinner and pie because pie AND WINE make it all better. This time I only had ONE glass of wine. That's a huge NSV (non-scale-victory). I treated myself with watching my favorite Housewives (NEW YORK!) show with zero guilt and reading with zero guilt. Weeks of research and prep for my son's IEP, hell yeah I earned 3 hours of guilt free pleasure.

A sign I'm going in the right direction. I have another week of a shit ton to do, like all moms (shout out to my fellow stay-at-home moms who never fucking leave THEIR office) recognizing this huge victory gives me tremendous hope. I have a goal this week. Workout five days a week...my treat, I'm getting a pedicure---ZERO GUILT.